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random confessions

Due to recently watching the end of BSG and the pressing need to resolve my understanding of the whole damn thing as a coherent story and rewatching it all because I clearly don't have enough tv-related angst in my life (my sit-and-wait policy with SPN's quite understandable recent wobbles being my only way to deal with it), I've been splashing around a little in a Kara/Lee BSG comm. Which is helping, so yay.

They recently had a confessions post (full o' spoilers; it's a rewatch-comm, so be warned), which turned out to be quite theraputic, so since I won't have time to finish and post the last part of this crack!fic before I go away for the weekend, I thought I'd spend some time confessing. You know, generally. Well, actually, quite specifically.


1. I have a serious Type when it comes to tv boyfriends. Until now, I have had a grand total of three unconditional, unwavering, unflagging crushes: Al Swearengen, John Winchester (although not young!John), and Jayne Cobb. I really don't care how (conventionally) amoral and ruthless they are, they can do pretty much anything and I will still be rooting for them. Which is not to say I'm glad when they do bad things, but it doesn't cause so much as a skip in the record for me, nor does it make me want them to change who they fundamentally are. Of course, that could also be a function of their characters being the type that you expect them to do amoral and ruthless things.

I don't know what those attractions say about me. O.o


2. But add a fourth to the list: Noah Puckerman, better known as Puck on Glee. He is rapidly becoming a full member of the ranks. It's not just Mark Salling and the mohawk (although wowza, and, uh ... yeah ... well that's going on the icon roster; good thing this is a confession post), although the fact that he sings and plays guitar and dances definitely helps. As does the fact that he's in his late twenties, and as such actually attractive, unlike the rest of the tadpoles on that show. It's not even just the way he moves, although I'll admit that is ... distracting. It's just ... he may not be very smart, or particularly principled, but he never pretends (most importantly to himself) to be anything but what he is. And maybe that's a core part of the attraction to those other guys, too. They don't fool themselves about who they are.


3. I guess this means I should also confess to liking Glee. It's total escapist brain candy, and it's FUN, and it's just sharp enough that I don't despise it. I like how everyone has their completely unsypmathetic moments. And I am (*blush*) totally digging Gwenyth Paltrow's appearances on it. I get pretty damn sick of Mr Shue though.


4. I have never liked Buffy. I mostly just find her bratty and annoying. I don't care that the weight of the world is on her shoulders, a factor that in other shows often will buy at least a sop of sympathy from me. But perhaps more confessionally, I've never much liked Xander either. And Willow frequently annoys me too. I like Cordy. And I kind of liked Riley. I didn't even (gasp!) really like Fred (although Illyria was fun).


5. I have an issue with watching intimacy onscreen. Reading it is not quite so bad, since I can control what I'm imagining, although actual porn usually makes me laugh or roll my eyes, and I tend to avoid it wherever possible. I think that's mostly because the porn is only there for the porn's sake, and very rarely actually contributes anything to either the story or the characters. And I'm certainly not willing to spend the time it would take of examples where the descriptions of teh sex service the story rather than ... er, us, I guess.

Back to onscreen intimacy, I have a terrible time watching it, because it throws me right out of the story. I immediately start thinking about how awkward it would be to film, and about the blurring of lines of real and make-believe, and if either of the actors are in relationships and what their partners really feel about watching that. (Onscreen violence is genuinely make-believe, but even when you stage physical intimacy that suggests more than what is actually going on, the physical proximity is still real and still intimate, if that makes sense.) I don't even really like watching kissing for the most part (also because it often just doesn't look very good), although there are exceptions (spoilers for the ending of Elizabeth Gaskell's North & South, not that it's such a huge shock when it happens or anything).

5.a. But really good conversation totally turns me on.


6. I can't disregard canon. It's there, and I can't pretend that something didn't happen when it's been shown to happen. If it's there, it's there. And I have a hard time reading fic that tries to do that, no matter how well written it is. I'm talking about fixit-fic, not speculative stuff written as tags or explorations of a hiatus cliffhanger or something. I'm also okay with cheerfully AU stuff that is just playing around with "what if?" It's the ones which are basically trying to re-write canon that I struggle with. And of course this only applies to shows/books I actually care about. Mess around all you like with the rest.


7. Harry Potter also annoys the crap out of me.


8. As I've said before, I'm not a shipper by nature, but Kara/Lee catapulted to a whole new level for me with the BSG series finale. They may be my first OTP. I'm okay with that, though. :D


9. I'm making myself giggle with the last part of the crack!fic. I don't know if this is a good thing or not. Also, I honestly slightly disturbed myself with the second part, where Eliot was going about his little restoration project. I was writing it with one eye on myself going, Um ... what is wrong with you? Why is this something you can come up with? Maybe you should stop or something. Or at least ... oh, fine. I guess it is pretty funny.


Okay, your turn. Confess! CONFESS! Or it's the soft pillow and the comfy chair for you! Hahahahaha!!!!!

... I go eat bad food and watch bad movies with good friends nao! Bye!

Comments

( 9 speakses — have a speak )
bitterlimetwist
Mar. 22nd, 2011 05:41 pm (UTC)
*crawls out from under the terrible not-exactly-meta-thing I'm writing*

This post needs comments, damnit.

- If I like a show, I'd rather it go on until it's past its prime, rather than have it die while it's still good. I don't want to be left wanting more. I'd rather think - Hey the writers really ran out of ideas, didn't they? It's so much easier to let go of something when it's past being good. And even though I can never disregard canon, a crappy later season doesn't diminish my love for an earlier good season.

- Quirky characters annoy me. They aren't cute or funny, they're usually just irritating.

- I must be cold and bitter, because I hate sentimentality. So for instance, I can never really get in to a show like How I Met Your Mother because it mixes its comedy with so much syrupy-ness that it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

- Agreed on teh sex. Takes me right out of the story.

- I have a weird relationship with the show Castle, in that my hatred of it is all out of proportion to the actual quality of it. So while I think it's okay for what it is, and it's not like I expect it to be better, it just provokes a visceral hatred in me. I can't have it on for more than a minute before I feel my blood pressure going up. I feel the same way about Bones. And yet ... I kind of wish there were a show with Fillion and Boreanaz. Yes, I'm crazy.

*goes back to finish writing terrible not-meta*
themonkeytwin
Mar. 23rd, 2011 05:39 am (UTC)
Yay for confessions! :)

If I like a show, I'd rather it go on until it's past its prime, rather than have it die while it's still good.

Ooh, interesting. I think a crappy later season sours my viewing experience of the earlier beloved stuff, just because I know where things are going to end up. :/ Certainly that's what happened with Buffy and Angel, although growing up and maturing tastes probably had a lot to do with that too.

Quirky characters annoy me. They aren't cute or funny, they're usually just irritating.

Preach! :) (Any specific ones you're thinking of?)

Sentimentality – ugh. Turns me right off. I've never watched How I Met Your Mother, but I'm even less likely to now. Cheesiness can be the same, although if it's done knowingly and well (Leverage usually walks that line), I can enjoy it quite a lot. It's all in the execution. But syrup? No thanks, I'm sweet enough....

my hatred of it is all out of proportion to the actual quality of it.

Heh. I tried watching it, but couldn't get past the first episode. Something about the lead chick, although (another confession) I don't care much for Nathan Fillion, either. I mean, I liked the character Mal fine, but I don't make any effort to watch something just because Fillion is on it. And I am totally with you on Bones. Again, female lead. I'm slightly more inclined to watch a show with Boreanaz, but if there was a show with both of them, I would definitely give it the time of day! Because I'm shallow and contradictory that way. I believe the technical term is "fangirl". :D

I am looking forward to this meta. No judging it until I say. :p
bitterlimetwist
Mar. 23rd, 2011 07:47 pm (UTC)
Confessions are a great idea for a post.

I watched the first season of Battlestar Galactica, but I gave up because I wasn't that interested in the characters, and like most sci-fi, but especially post-apocalyptic sci-fi, I found it a bit preachy. Still, Kara/Lee almost kept me watching.

"Any specific ones you're thinking of?"

Lorelai Gilmore. But really every single character on that show. I only watched it occasionally, but I really hated her. Oh who am I kidding, I hated them all. And all that quirk always struck me as the writers just being in love with their own cleverness. See how clever we are! Look at how quirky everyone is! Aren't they just fun and charming? Uh, no.

I guess that's another thing I could confess. I sometimes watch shows I hate. Maybe I like to be angry? Getting angry about something frivolous is cathartic without being exhausting.

Cheese is fine, whether on purpose or not, and it can be quite funny. But trying to tug at my heartstrings is just ... yeah don't.

"I am looking forward to this meta. No judging it until I say."

It's a confession - I suck at writing meta.
themonkeytwin
Mar. 24th, 2011 04:22 am (UTC)
Oh, the preachiness. Kill me now. Watching the second time around is much, much better because you don't have to sit through it all just in case it does end up turning out to be relevant (answer: not really). There IS some good, crunchy character goodness, but there's an awful lot of pap, too. It's so broad there's something for everyone, though. Quite unlike SPN, there.

And Lorelai. I liked it to begin with, but it did go that direction fast. One of the things I loved about Luke was his (apparent) ability to call her on this crap. I know this is a shallow thing to say, too, but the older the actress looked, the more you just wanted her to GROW THE HELL UP ALREADY.

Aren't they just fun and charming? Uh, no.

Heh. I ❤ you and your snark.

I sometimes watch shows I hate.

Ah, but hate is not indifference. I mean, I have a pretty strong hate-on for LOST in the general sense – I can harangue LOST fans up one side and down the other – but in the specifics, it bores the crap out of me. 24 is similar. Bones, I am indifferent to on a general level but kind of hate on the specific, so when I catch it, I watch it, because ... hate. But I want to REMIND myself of the hate, or something. Plus, I don't think I'd hate it in the specific if there weren't also stuff I really quite liked about it, that I wish they could have gotten right. I don't know, that's my attempt at explaining my incarnation of that compulsion, anyway.

But trying to tug at my heartstrings is just ... yeah don't.

See above, re: you and your snark. :)
bitterlimetwist
Mar. 28th, 2011 12:21 am (UTC)
"Then again, I actually find most of Whedon's female characters to be kind of condescending."

Have I told you lately that I love you?

"I have a pretty strong hate-on for LOST in the general sense"

I want to hear more about this please. A nice rant perhaps, if you feel like it. Because, yes, Lost sucks.

I finished my meta! Yay! *drowns self in booze to celebrate*
themonkeytwin
Mar. 28th, 2011 10:03 pm (UTC)
Hee! It's certainly mutual.

And if I get in the right mindset to rant, I will, although there'd probably have to be something to tip it off – and since it's no longer airing, I don't have people trying to convince me how AMAZING it is, so I haven't felt the need to really vent about that for a while. :D

Meta? Can haz? *puppeh eyes*
bitterlimetwist
Mar. 29th, 2011 08:00 pm (UTC)
"Meta? Can haz?"

I posted it Sunday, but because I was working on it in lj, I ended up posting it date-out-of-order, so it didn't show up on your friends page. I should have been more specific - I'm finished & it's posted. Maybe I was subconsciously afraid to point you directly at it. But anyway, it's up. ;p
fannishliss
Mar. 25th, 2011 05:48 pm (UTC)
Hi. Just have to say, I AM TOTALLY WITH YOU ON THE JAYNE LOVE.
I don't even go for great big guys in real life. (My husband just bought a Balthazar t shirt and jacket and looks fabulous, he really does!) But OMG JAYNE. How is he so HOT. I used to ship him with every single member of the Firefly crew. (with the possible exception of Zoe ONLY)! It didn't matter, I was so there. I got up the nerve to buy a novelization by KRADC -- and it outraged beyond reason when he denigrated Jayne's intelligence. GRRRR. I'm really not a Whedonite, but I do wish Firefly had had more of a chance. Where are those 3 -5 seasons when you really need them!

I'm totally with Bitterlimetwist about wanting a show to go on too long. It's much easier that way! I never even watched XFiles after s5!! :D


I'd also like to confess about BSG. When women characters start to have these physically female defining traits I start to get really angry. Like the President's breast cancer I could totally deal with that. Then Boomer got pregnant, and I was like, okay, because I was really hoping for a hot triad there. Then Starbuck went to the planet and there was a pregnancy farm... and then the President outlawed abortion, and then, they raped the cylon, and her baby was the Messiah (RIGHT?), and I was like WOAH, WOAH, enough already. I was SO OUT OF THERE. Biological Determinism is so Eighteenth Century. D: Women are not Empty Vessels. People call Supernatural misogynist, and it makes me wonder what they mean, when stuff like this apparently goes without comment? I mean, spn is actually talking about vessels and rape issues out loud -- granted they're using a man's voice to do the speaking, but to me it's the talking that counts -- not just being like "women's bodies are necessary conduits for the propagation/evolution of the species" --that's really problematic for me and since I wasn't in that fandom I never heard anyone talk of it. ??
themonkeytwin
Mar. 26th, 2011 05:28 am (UTC)
HOORAY FOR JAYNE LOVE! (Funny story, I was delayed replying because a friend came over who's just started watching Firefly and so we just watched a Train Job to Shindig. Good times. :)) I don't really know why he's so hot, but he totally is. I sometimes wonder if it isn't because his intelligence (and he IS SO intelligent!) is completely ... sensual. You know? It's all physical – fighting and sexing and tracking and such; he interacts with the world almost entirely through his senses rather than his higher intellect. And in his strengths, he's VERY strong. And that's kind of very primally attractive. I don't know. And of course, Adam Baldwin is really good at layering it, too, somehow. Even though there really aren't that many layers!

Counter confession, since I've just been watching it: I don't really think the actress doing Inara is all that amazing. Everyone seems to just rave about her, and she leaves me kind of flat ... like she overthinks the character too much. Which is a pity, because I love the character herself, but it comes off kind of, I don't know, not as sophisticated and mature as she's supposed to be. You could say it's a thread of innocence in her, but it just doesn't work for me. *shrug* Then again, I actually find most of Whedon's female characters to be kind of condescending. Which, oh the irony, but that's how they come across to me.

Interesting observations about BSG. I haven't been in the fandom long at all, so I couldn't help you out with what the reactions were, although one thing that comes up fairly often (particularly in regards to Starbuck) is the concept that this was intended to be an attempt at a gender-equal society. It's assumed that women can and do fill the same jobs as men, and ie there's no shock at the idea of a man and a woman getting into a fistfight.

I can see it being a hot button, although (confession) most of those things tend to go over my head; I don't notice them as gender issues unless people are pointing them out. As far as I understood the intention of the showmakers, they were trying to explore many of the ethically questionable decisions and motivations that people are faced with when its a matter of life or death for the remnant of a species. And whether they can make those decisions and still be a people who are worth the price of surviving. In that instance, procreation becomes one of the most valuable assets the race possesses, and so it makes the issues surrounding it even more charged.

I didn't notice them implying that women = just empty vessels for teh babies, and they didn't (that I noticed) condone the actions of those exploiting the physically defining traits of women. They didn't always explicitly condemn them, either, but I mostly got the sense that the audience was supposed to gather that it was a horrific thing. (Also, I think they got a little confused over exactly who was carrying the Messiah Ball at any one time, but that's a sidenote. I don't think the raped cylon ever conceived, though, unless you're talking about the Tigh/Six pregnancy, which was iirc a seduction by Six of Tigh. ?)

So, that was my reading, but like I said, I don't pick up on a lot of that stuff. The general sense that I get from the fandom is an increasing irritation with the increasing spiritualistic nonsense that passed for storytelling as the series continued, but again, I wasn't around for the initial reactions.
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